Parenting in the Digital Age: How We Took Back Family Time
Ah, parenting in the digital age. One minute you’re marveling at how quickly your child can navigate an iPad, and the next, you’re wondering if they even remember how to use their vocal cords for actual conversation.
Let’s be real—our children are growing up in a world where screens dominate. Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat keep them updated on everything from sports scores to viral memes. However, they also keep them glued to their devices instead of actually talking to people. The result? A generation that can type 90 words per minute but struggles to hold a simple conversation with an adult.
As a mother of two boys, I strived to maintain a balanced and harmonious household. When my children finally got their first iPhones at 14 (after a long campaign of “Mom, literally everyone has one except us!”), they were instantly mesmerized. Suddenly, their after-school routine involved speed-running homework just to disappear into their digital worlds of gaming, texting, and scrolling.
Then came the moment that made me pause: my older son texted me from his bedroom, asking what was for dinner and if it was ready. That was my wake-up call. In that moment, I realized how much these digital devices, which are meant to bring us closer, can actually take away from the warmth of real, face-to-face interaction. The very tools designed to help our children connect were, in fact, having an adverse effect on them.
So, after serious (and strategic) discussions with my husband, we came up with a new game plan. And let me tell you—when laying down new house rules, teamwork with your spouse is key. Presenting a united front ensures consistency, as children have a sixth sense for detecting and exploiting any gaps in parental authority.
The Rules We Made for Parenting in the Digital Age
Rule #1: If I can’t see you, I can’t hear you. Do not text me asking if dinner is ready or the dryer is done. My ears only work in conjunction with my eyes. If I can’t see you when asking a question or making a complaint, then I can’t hear you. No see…No hear!
Rule #2: Do not bring your phone to the dining table during mealtime. Mealtime is a time for family connection. I promise you that no calamities will occur in the 30 minutes that you are going to be eating and talking to your family. If a phone appears at the table, congratulations, you just volunteered to do the dishes!
Rule #3: All gadgets get charged in the kitchen at night. Do you need the alarm to wake up? I’ll get you a digital clock with 2 alarm settings.
Rule #4: No Wi-Fi… No Problem. Lights out at 10:30pm and Wi-Fi included. Let’s get a good night’s sleep and wake up free of morning grogginess and crankiness.
Rule #5: These gadgets are a privilege and manners matter. When you keep the manners, you keep the gadgets! If you can’t be polite and respectful, you don’t need a device that allows you to communicate with the world.
Enforcing these rules wasn’t without resistance (cue dramatic teenage sighs and exaggerated eye rolls), but over time, they have worked wonders. Family dinners were actually conversations again, and I no longer receive text messages from within my own house. Small victories, right?
Parenting in the digital age comes with its challenges, but with clear boundaries and a touch of humor, we can guide our children toward a healthy balance between their online and offline lives. By setting clear expectations with warmth and consistency, we can help them develop a mindful relationship with technology while still valuing the importance of face-to-face connection and meaningful communication.
Looking for additional guidance for your teenager regarding their digital devices? We offer a workshop specifically designed to help your teen or pre-teen learn how to be more respectful with their online communication.
